Gomenasai
by Sol Y Sombra
Summary: A songfic to the song 'Gomenasai' by t.A.T.u. Set in the Stars season. Mamoru struggles with his regrets as he battles Galaxia.


**A/N: **Happy Valentines Day everyone!!

Ok, so this isn't exactly your typical Valentines Day slush, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! Thanks so enormously much to Ala, my wonderful beta reader, who definetly made this fic about 1000 better than it could have been had she not edited and re-edited it again and again. And again. You know what to do once you've read it, **tell me what you thought!! **I don't mind flames, so if you have any crits, tell me so i can improve!!

"…" – Speech

'...' – Thought

_Italic - flashback_

'_**Bold italic' – lyrics **_

**Gomenasai**

Standing in front of Galaxia, Mamoru was defiant, but inside… well, inside his heart was aching for his angel, his life… his Usako.

"On this planet there are agents of love and justice, Sailor Soldiers who are sure to sense your evil ambitions!" he spat at the warrior in front of him, thinking about how he wished he could let Usagi know what was happening, and tell her to say strong…

'_**What I thought wasn't mine**_

_**In the light **_

_**Was one of a kind**_

_**A precious pearl**_

_**When I wanted to cry**_

_**I couldn't 'cos I**_

_**Wasn't allowed'**_

Mamoru had known that Usagi was something special from the day they had first met. Yes, he had teased her, but secretly he cherished every word she said to him. When they had started dating, it had been a dream come true for Mamoru. He couldn't believe this angel was his. She was everything he had believed he wasn't worthy of, the epitome of the perfect girl, so far away from his lonely existence. But then, she had talked to him, _listened_ to him as if she actually cared about what he said. No one had ever done that for him before.

His heart had broken when he had to board that airplane to study abroad, but he didn't let himself cry. To cry would be to admit to her that he wouldn't see her for a long time, and he didn't know if she could handle that. Deep down, he knew he was just as reluctant to admit this to himself. 'For both of us, I must not cry. I must stay strong…'

'_**Gomenasai, for everything**_

_**Gomenasai, I know I let you down**_

_**Gomenasai til the end**_

_**I never needed a friend like I do now'**_

"_Usako, if it were just about me, I know what I'd say. But it's __no__t_ _just about me any more! It's about both of us now. There are plenty of good medical schools right here in Japan; maybe I could…just say the word, Usako. If you say I should stay, how could I possibly leave you?"_

"_I'm so proud of you! Not everyone gets the chance to study in America!" Usagi's eyes had welled with tears as she pressed her face into Mamoru's warm, comforting chest. "Y…you should go. I'll always love you. Besides, it's not like we'll never see each other again!"_

If Usagi had known how wrong she was, she would not have let him go. They would be fighting this monster together, fighting for their lives and for the Universe. Mamoru tried to tell himself that it was best like it was, him fighting on his own, but he knew that Usagi would go through hell waiting for him to reply to the letters she had promised to send every day. He just hoped that eventually she could move on, and find someone else to love. Someone who could protect her and make her feel safe. Someone who she could be happy with, like they had never had the chance to be.

'_**What I thought wasn't all**_

_**So innocent**_

_**Was a delicate doll**_

_**Of porcelain**_

_**When I wanted to call you**_

_**And ask for your help**_

_**I stopped myself'**_

_He had asked her not to see him off, but he wasn't surprised when his Bunny had shown up at the airport._

"_Usako…"_

"_Mamo-chan!" She had run into his open arms, embracing him so fiercely that he knew no matter how far apart they were, she would never let him go._

He knew that if he called her, Sailor Moon would be there, fighting beside him. That was the power of their love for each other. But although he wanted to see her more than anything, he didn't want her there. He wanted her safe on Earth, living the life that she deserved. The life he would watch over forever.

'_**Gomenasai, for everything**_

_**Gomenasai, I know I let you down**_

_**Gomenasai 'til the end**_

_**I never needed a friend like I do now'**_

'I'm sorry, Usako!' he thought as he flew through the air, his cane aimed at Galaxia's heart. 'I should have stayed with you. I know that now. Until the end, I will fight to protect you, and my home planet Earth. Until the very end…'

'_**What I thought was a dream**_

**_A mirage_**

_**Was as real as it seemed**_

_**A privilege**_

_**When I wanted to tell you**_

_**I made a mistake**_

_**I walked away'**_

'_Usako, you're all that I dream about, and all I ever __will until we see each other again!' Gazing longingly at the only photo he had packed, Mamoru wished he had told her this. Instead, he had walked away, boarded the plane without a backwards glance. And now here he was, high in the sky, wishing he was back on the ground. Anywhere that she was, was where he belonged. _

Galaxia blocked his attack with too much ease, as if he was no more than an annoying insect she wanted to squash under her shoe.

She launched her own attack, which Mamoru barely dodged. He was tiring, and Galaxia knew it.

'_**Gomenasai, for everything**_

_**Gomenasai, gomenasai**_

_**Gomenasai, I never needed a friend like I do now'**_

'Usako. I'm so sorry! I need you more than ever, but you're so far away, and it's entirely my fault! I want to see you, to hear your voice once more. I want to touch your golden hair, to kiss you one last time.'

Two rope-like beams of energy flew towards Mamoru, ensnaring him so he could barely move a muscle.

'_**Gomenasai, I know I let you down**_

_**Gomenasai, gomenasai**_

_**Gomenasai 'til the end**_

_**I never needed a friend**_

_**Like I do now'**_

'I'm so sorry that I have to leave you to face this dark force alone. I believe in your power. I know you'll restore peace to my Earth, and to the Universe, as long as you believe in yourself and everyone you love. I just wish that I could be there beside you!'

Mamoru struggled against Galaxia's bindings, but he knew it was too late. Two bursts of flame were speeding towards him. His eyes widened as they hit.

He crumpled to the ground, and a beautiful flower bud blossomed over his wearied body. As it unfolded delicately to reveal a bright golden jewel, a gentle whisper could be heard that seemed to come from the flower itself.

"Usako… I'm… Sorry…"


End file.
